That’s exactly what I said to myself when I decided to embark on my 1st travel with my ‘just under 2 years old’ toddler boy across continents. I was ready to take on the adventure and, in my mind, had planned it to perfection! Allow me to take you through this journey and the learnings that are now firmly embellished in the cortex of my brain.
It all started when we decided to visit my sister in law who is staying in the Unites States. She was eager to see her nephew and my wife and I were eager to have a family trip – the first of its kind – with a total journey time nearing 1 whole freaking day. Song playing in my subconscious which failed to reach my conscious: ‘Insane in the membrane.’
I decided to go with the airline which gave me the option of a layover. You got to start with a half marathon before you run a marathon. Anyhow, amongst the airline options, I narrowed it down to two airlines – Virgin Atlantic and Emirates. These two airlines are supposed to be most child friendly in terms of the entertainment system that they provide. I decided to go with Virgin Atlantic because it broke down the journey in two equal halves. Delhi to London. London to US. Approximately 9 hours each. This is the first time I would be traveling with my toddler. I DO NOT want to be left high and dry 30, 000 feet in the sky when my kid throws a tantrum. Why assume he would? Oh…please do read on.
Since Viaan was under 2 years, there was no necessity to book his seats. He could have easily passed on as a ‘child on lap.’ I decided to book though. My reasoning was simple. When a toddler throws a tantrum, an entire airplane is not enough! Also, I couldn’t imagine having him on my lap for 16 hours or even 8 hours on my lap (with me and my wife splitting the time). The decision paid off as he slept through two of the 4 connecting flights and stretched across the three seats. Actually, an extra 4th seat would have come handy as me and wife were recipients of some of the most insane mid-air martial arts kicks by the end of our journey!
Good thing about traveling with kids under 2 years of age. You get priority boarding! So, we cut the queue and went along first in the plane. What I did not realize is that sooner you board, the longer is your ‘stay’ period in the flight. A marginal difference of about 30 minutes or so. When you are with a toddler, ‘marginal’ and similar other words in dictionary have a completely different definition! We were about to discover.
As we seated ourselves in our seats, we silently prayed for a smooth journey. Of course, if small children are akin to Godliness, then in whose lap – pray tell – do you suppose those prayers are reaching. Enough said.
Out of this big adventure, we were about to experience a series of mini adventures – to start with, it was POOP time! My wife, the courageous one, dashed to the washroom and when she got out, her world had changed. The wailing from the washroom was a ‘hello’ from my toddler to the pilot at the cockpit and all the passengers in the plane.
Time to take off! I had taken the baton from my wife after she had exited the hell’s kitchen and had been walking up and down the aisle non-stop to soothe my ‘angel’ baby. The stern looking but seemingly empathetic Brit air hostess urged me to take my seat. Since he was under 2, he had to be either on my or my wife’s lap and buckled up. Kid’s under 2 have a child seat belt of their own.
Restraining a child is never a good idea. Doing so in a constrained place, when you are about to go through a gravity defying experience – an even worse idea! The howling had reached its crescendo. Seat 32 D was the cynosure of all eyes. I had now started to sweat. Not knowing what could possibly soothe my baby, we tried whatever came to our mind. Thinking that he might be feeling hot, we took of his clothes – didn’t work. Electronic gadgets are off during take-off – couldn’t try that. Sang him his favourite song – he didn’t blink an eyelid. The howling, by now, had shot through the roof. Through the gap in the seats, sitting few rows ahead, the air hostess met my eye and gave an empathetic smile as a look of exasperation washed over my face. I looked under the seat. The ‘emergency toddler-in-lap seat eject button’ was missing. What transpired during the next 15-20 mins of taxi and take off, is something that should stay in Vegas!
As soon as the seat belt signs were off, I got out of the seat with Viaan in my arms and dashed to walk along the aisles. He did run amok between the aisles but at least he was quiet. We tried to keep him busy for the rest of the flight with various things such as stickers and a book, his favourite cartoons loaded on i-PAD, in-flight entertainment movies, crackers/food. He would sleep intermittently during the flight and I kid you not – I could see wings on his shoulders during those times! Miraculously, he slept through most of the connecting flight!
Again, while returning to India he again slept through most of the Newark to London flight. However, on the London to Delhi flight, he ensured that we remember his age. He did not appreciate being buckled up while taking off and thought it to be normal to run in between the aisles. It was getting difficult to contain him. At one point during the flight, my wife wanted to use the washroom and he just wouldn’t leave her. When no distraction worked, I finally wrestled to take him in my arms while she dashed for the nearest washroom. By the time my wife returned from the washroom, all passengers and crew knew the sound and cry of a certain 2-year-old. At that time, I had started to begin the countdown to our landing. It was 4 hours to go and miraculously my son fell asleep. I looked at my wife and we exchanged relieved glances smeared with a dash of hope that he would sleep off the rest of the journey. We finally went for that wine that we had so far avoided the entire time we were in the air as we had wanted to be responsible parents taking care of our kid without being inebriated. (In hindsight, maybe we should have downed some!) As we approached landing, we clinked our glasses and said to each other ‘to quiet moments and safe landings!’
satta king tw